middle of death && being born alive again. o.O

SEPTEMBER 9, 2010

first, i want to thank our GOD ALL MIGHTY for being understanding and he didn't take away my life so soon. :)

this shit! happened for the second time but, this time i didn't see black and white surroundings. i just saw this beautiful nature! with lovely butterflies && different adorable animals. <3 akala ko nga that time is i'm in [heaven] lol. pero, naisip ko? kapanipaniwala bang matatanggap ako dun? haha. sa dami kong nagawang kasalanan ee. :\ naku! nkkloka ang mga pangyayari. taena kako, agaw buhay nanaman ako for the second time around! -.- my gosh!

secondly, i want to thank my effing self for breathing. hindi pa naman ako handang umalis sa mundong ito no. madami pa naman akong gustong gawin at matapos. :) like, pursuing my dreams, and finish college soon! kahit, minsan napadpad sa isipan kong magpakamatay! haha. pero, hindi ko man magawang katotohanan. paano! takot ako sa dugo! hahaha. grabe! nkklerkie. sobraa. :))

third, i want to thank mom for being there whenever i need her. kahit kung minsan nkkinis na yung mga bukang bibig niya dahil, paulit ulit na lang yung sinasabi niya. haha. taz sa mga pangaasar at tawa niyang nkkloka ayun! isa din yun sa mga nagpagaan sa buhay ko. <3

kahit, napaka pasaway ko at npakamaldita sa kanya andiyan pa din siya. :') haays. sorry mom sa lahat.lahat! loveyou. :*

my life was at sake tent went to being alive again. o.O

ika-apat, eto ang gusto kong part! :)) talgang masaya kung close talaga kayo ng mga pinsan mo. :D nagulat na lang ako nung pagdilat ng aking mga mata na andiyan na pala sa tabi ko ang napakakulit at bungal kong pinsan na si mackie. <3 hehe, at ang ate niyang si sherry. :) dalawang araw na silang tumambay sa bahay. masaya sa feeling na talgang "binantayan" nila ako. hehe. sa palagay ko ganun ang pagkkintindi ko kung bakit andito sila nun. :D hehe. nagpapasalamat din ako sa kanila,  for their wasted time visiting me. && i loove their hugs! appreciated soo. :)

ika-lima, sa mga nagdaang mga taon, karamihan ay isang hamak na katuwaan lang at mga iyakan syempre, ang highschool at elementary moments ang tinutukoy ko. madaming nagalit, natawa at nagsimpatiya o naawa man sa akin this time. shet! kako. haha. nangyari na nga ee. haha. pero grabe, natutuwa ako sa mga kaibigan kong lokarit. haha. kahit lagi nila akong inaasar sa school [hs && elem days] tunay pala silang masasandalan. :') haay! nagpapasalamat talaga ako sa inyo! i love you guys. i'm sorry if at times naguguluhan kayo sa akin dahil sa praning na ugali ko at parang laging may regla akoo. haha. ayun, salamat salamat! <3 sana, forever friends ha? of you need me, i'll be always here. ready to listen && care. [huwag lang sa pera, wala ako niyan.haha! :P]

lastly, i'm glad for those people who cared. <3 i mean, ung mga tinuring kong mga little sis && bros taz mga ate at kua's koo. grabe, nkktuwa at nkkgulat dahil, hindi ko talga ineexpect na maiintindihan nila ako at my crisis days. lol. ayun, salamt ng major major! andito lang naman din ako when you need me. hindi ako magbback out. ;) loveyou lots!

pootik, taglish na lang ginamit ko. :)) haha. tinatamad na akong magtranslate eh. haha. :P kung anu na lang pumasok sa isipan ko ayun na yun. ;) pasensiya nanaman dahil sa napakahaba ng note. :D pero, gusto ko lang naman na malaman niyo ung nararamdaman ko towards sa inyong lahat. =D 

HEART'S JUMPING .. :']

 LOVE's IRONY:

            Whenever we LOVE someone,

            they DON'T love us back

            and then when we ger OVER them,

            they start LOVING US. -.-

:') i miss you so!

I should have really done it I should not pay attention I should have just ignore it I should have not look at you, at all I should have close my heart and mind

I should have just run away Pretend not hear what you say And act like I don't see you I should not listen to my heart So that, I'm not badly hurt like this

Without a word, you teach me to love Without a word, you give me some love You let me hold your breath But why did you run away? It's like you don't want me to stay Without a word, your.... love left me. Without a word, love just breaks me. I'm running out of wordswhat will I say? My lips are closed and so surprised. Without a single word

Why does it hurt so badly? And it's still hurting baby Is it because I won't see You anymore 'cos you're not here With me, it'll never be the same as before

Without a word, you teach me to love Without a word, you give me some love You let me hold your breath But why did you run away? It's like you don't want me to stay Without a word, your... love left me. Without a word love just breaks me. I'm running out of words What will I say? My lips are closed and so surprised

Without a word, my eyes are shutter with tears Without a word, my heart is quiver in fears

Without a word, I waited for love Without a word, I'm hurting cos of love I give my everything Though it's gonna make me fool Now I'm crying for the sky

Without a word, the fires of hell burn me Without a word, the end comes to me My heart is still in shock. let you go away Do I need to beg you to stay? But I'm running out of words

Without a word, love comes and It goes like just a fever May be all that I need,, is to learn and know how to Endure, this pain, even for a while

I should have really done it I should not pay attention I should have just ignore it I should have not look at you ,at all I should have close my heart and mind

I should have just run away Pretend not hear what you say And act like I don't see you I should not listen to my heart So that, I'm not badly hurt like this

Without a word, you teach me to love Without a word, you give me some love You let me hold your breath But why did you run away? It's like you don't want me to stay Without a word, your.... love left me. Without a word, love just breaks me. I'm running out of words what will I say? My lips are closed and so surprised. Without a single word

Why does it hurt so badly? And it's still hurting baby Is it because I won't see You anymore 'cos you're not here With me, it'll never be the same as before

Without a word, you teach me to love Without a word, you give me some love You let me hold your breath But why did you run away? It's like you don't want me to stay Without a word, your... love left me. Without a word love just breaks me. I'm running out of words What will I say? My lips are closed and so surprised

Without a word, my eyes are shutter with tears Without a word, my heart is quiver in fears

Without a word, I waited for love Without a word, I'm hurting cos of loveI give my everything Though it's gonna make me fool Now I'm crying for the sky

Without a word, the fires of hell burn me Without a word, the end comes to me My heart is still in shock. let you go away Do I need to beg you to stay? But I'm running out of words

Without a word, love comes and It goes like just a fever May be all that I need,, is to learn and know how to Endure, this pain, even for a while

i hope someone could sing this for me. :'D

it speaks a thousand heartbeat of mine. <3

an illusion of my heart. T_T

TYPE OF A GIRL. [repost]

1. Pa-conyo

-sila yung super vain na kala mo everyday is “foundation day.” Magaling mag-ingles, hindi umiinom ng house water sa fastfood at kung magbihis e kala mo parating may party. Sila rin yung aakitin ka, pero hindi bibigay….agad. Kailangan ng matinding humor kung talagang trip na trip mo sya iuwi.

2. Top-of-the-line sosyalera

-Sila yung mga pinanganak na may gintong kutsara sa bibig. Lumaki sa aircon, straight English kung magsalita pero mahilig din silang magmarunong na magaling silang mag-Tagalog pero ang sama talaga pakinggan. Di nakakarelate sa mga kanto jokes, nagtatawanan na ang mga tao di pa din nila nagegets yung joke. Lumaki raw sila sa kalye playing street games. Pero alam nyo kung ano yun? Street hockey, soccer, baseball, etc. Pffft! Batang kalye nga. Mahirap abutin. Pero kung masusungkit, pwede rin!

3. Feeling or Illusionaries

-mga mahilig mag-ilusyon na magaganda sila at may sinasabi sa buhay. Pinsan si ganito, kilala si ganyan, may lupain sa hibok-hibok para ma-impress lang ang kausap. Sila ata ang tinutukoy ng Parokya sa kanta nilang, “Silvertoes.” Madaling kausap at minsan, isang sabi lang, gora na yan… walang paliguy-ligoy pa. 10/11 ang drama, sa sampung sinabi labing-isa mali. Dagdag-bawas magkwento kaya ingat lang lalo na kung kiss and tell sila.

4. One-of-the-boys.

-Sila yung “ideal bestfriend.” Cowboy ba… Pwedeng biru-biruin, masarap kasama sa inuman, naiintindihan ang kalokohan at kaberdehan ng kalalakihan, madalas gumamit ng “tsong” at “pare” pag kausap mo. Pero sila rin yung hindi nagsasalita sa totoong nararamdaman nila. Ingat din ang mga boys sa mga ganitong girls- lalo na pag nahuhulog na pala sa inyo. Kawawa sila pag nasaktan. Hmmmm…

5. Girlfriend-material.

-Sila yung sa unang tingin pa lang ng boys, abot-langit na ang respeto. Sila yung mga simpleng babaeng matipid ngumiti, makikipag-kwentuhan pero hindi may mystique pa rin. Na-c-curious ang mga lalaki kung anong meron sa kanila that they keep on looking for more of that person. Minsan ang hirap kausap dahil pabago bago ng isip. Usually, sila ang naliligawan, sinusuyo hanggang mapa-oooohh… OO.

6. Man-hater.

-Sa una, mapagkakamalan mo silang tibo dahil sobra silang “boyish.” Defense mechanism nila yun dahil galit sila sa past experience nila with an EX. Takot na daw sila masaktan. Mahirap din silang getlakin dahil matatakot ka sa kasungitan nila. Ang hindi mo alam, kulit lang ang katapat. Bibigay din yan. Pero syempre, sa mga lalaki, dapat armed ka with sympathy, timing and humor. Kahit hindi ka masyadong pogi, basta meron ka nito- malaki na ang chance mo.

7. Pa-Girl.

-OA sa pagka girl, mayat-maya ang retouch inaabot ng 30mins sa CR kahit nasa mall kayo suklay ng suklay ng buhok, mayat maya nananalamin. Super freak-out sa kaarteyhan. Malakas mag react ng “yuck!! Or eewwww” kapag nakakarinig ng mga maseselang usapin. Di nila gets o maapreciate ang ibang mga bagay bagay. Di mo alam kung makitid lang talaga utak nila o talagang slow sila makagets.. Basta ang hirap nila ispelengin!!! Ang masama eh kung 30 yrs old na pagirl pa din… awts!

8. Super Friendly.

-By the word itself, friendly siya sa lahat. Napakabait, Napakadaling i-aproach napakalawak ng pang-unawa on things. Masarap hingan ng payo. Pero minsan namimisinterpret ng iba. Aakalain ng guy na may gusto sa kanya si super friendly. Lalo na sa pagmimisinterpret sa kanila ng girls dahil pinagchichismisan sya ng masama, siguro kinaiinggitan kasi. Ang hirap din minsan ng masyadong mabait.

9. Doble-Kara.

-Eto yung matino or mataray pag normal, pero pag nakainom eh bigla na lang sasayaw sa ibabaw ng mesa, or iiyak ng walang malinaw na dahilan, or magiging robot na hindi na alam ang nangyayari, gumagalaw lang pero di nagrerespond sa kapwa, meron ding biglang nang aaway pa. Nakakatakot sila painumin kasi nakakahiya sila kasama pag nalasing.

10. Ms. Know-it-All.

-Gusto nilang i-impress ang lahat ng tao- especially ang mga kalalakihan, thinking na ma-g-getsung nila ito. They think na mas matalino sila sa guy at kaya nila itong paikutin. Pero wag ka. A good guy can recognize a smart girl. Boys, ingat sa mga tulad nila dahil yung pagka-Know-it-all ay pwedeng mauwi sa paninira sa ibang tao at mga buhol-buhol na kasinungalingan.

11. Problematic.

-Sila yung mga girls na kala mo kailangan lagi ng karamay o mag-aalaga sa kanila. Pa-emo minsan.. Hanap lagi yung instant Knight-in-Shining-Armour. Dapat mag-ingat ang mga girls na ganito dahil pag problemado sila, mas madaling nakaka-score ang mga kalalakihan lalo na yung magagaling mambola.

12. Babaeng-Bakla.

-Isa sa pinakagusto kong personality ng babae. Tipong laughtrip lagi pag kasama mo.. Hindi maarte, bulgar kung bulgar magsalita pero nasa timing. Punong puno ng humor. At minsan kung pikon ka maiinis ka sa pang-ookray niya pero ok lang yun lambing lang niya iyon.

13. Silent but deadly.

-Maria Clara ang datingan, Di sila masyadong palakibo, or masalita. Kung magsasalita man eh parang sila lang nakakarinig sa sinasabi nila. Pero wag matahin… Nasa loob ang kulo nila. Talagang mabibigla ka sa matutuklasan mong ibang side ng girl na ito….

14. Camwhore.

-Wala naman kinalaman to about sa pagkarir, share ko lang.. Sila yung kahit saan mapunta eh magpipicture ng sarili niya maya’t maya. Kahit di na sa kanya yung celfone puro mukha na nia ang laman. Iba-ibang anggulo pa pero magulo naman karamihan ng kuha. Pipiliting iphotoshop pero lalo lang sumasama. Tapos yung karamihang kuha naman eh nakaside lang yung mukha. Nakakapeke kasi ang ganung posing, nakakapagpaganda. Tapos di pa makukuntento may mga kuha ding nasa taas yung cam and nakaside pa din. Kasi nakakapayat yun, diba? Uuuyyy gagawin na nila yan lagi hehehe.. Daming picture sa fs, fb or multiply na puro mukha lang naman… na naka-side.

15. Flexible.

-Eto yung girl na akala mo sa unang tingin, di mo mareach mukhang snobbish, and maselan, pero pag nakuha mo ang loob at nakilala mo ng husto eh di pala maarte co-boy din sya na hindi one of d boys. Kahit saan nakakarating mula Rockwell hanggang Divisoria. Walang arte, Kakain kahit saan mapa Fridays or fishbolls sa kalsada. Ang sarap magkaroon ng girlfriend na tulad nila.

16. Flirt.

-In tagalog, Malandi, Syota ng bayan…. game! Kadalasang sila yung mga liberated, bombshell na talagang pansinin manamit, magsalita, at kumilos. Madaling pumatol lalo na kung gwapo or mayaman.

SINO KA JAN? :DD

your opinion. :)

i DO NOT criticize. <3

COMMENTS BADLY NEEDED. ;)

ALLSTAR WEEKEND

I LOVE THIS BAND! DANG!

Life is bouncing back.

Life is like a ball being dribbled,

Sometimes it goes up but sometimes it goes down, but

Remember: the harder you fall, the higher you bounce..

positive in life.

One day, a rich dad took his son on a trip. Wanted to show him how poor someone can be. They spent time on the farm of a poor family. On  the way home, Dad asked, Did you see how poor they are? What did you learn? Son said.. We have one dog, they have for. We have a pool, they have rivers. We have lanterns at night, they have stars. We buy foods, they grow dyers. We have walls to protect us, they have friends. We have encyclopedias, they have bible.

Then he added: Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are,

Lesson: Its not about money that makes your rich, its about the simplicity of having GOD in our lives. :)

Life is Beautiful.

Silence, doesn't always mean yes, It may also mean no but it's better left unsaid.

Anger, doesn't always mean hatred, It could just be a means of coping.

Laughter, doesn't always mean happiness, Sometimes it's just a mask.

Tears, doesn't always mean sorrow, It may also be an outlet of joy.

Staying away, doesn't always mean it's the end, It may also mean the best beginning.

and though life is so complicated, it's always beautiful. :)